A Valentine's Dud

Not so long ago, my Mom came to the conclusion that I may not move back into her house.  Just 6 years into marriage with two kids and after 12 years of dating my husband she figured that the possibility of me sleeping in my childhood bed was becoming dim.  So, she made me come get my things.  She was ready to make my room into the "Green" room.  You see my Mom colorizes rooms.  There is the pink room, and the blue bathroom, and the gray bathroom...oh I could go on, but I won't.  There are more important things to discuss.

Anyhow, I began the treacherous journey to clean out my old room.  I've become so tidy in my older years.  I keep hardly anything and try to live without an ounce of clutter.  Oh but not so in my youth.  I kept everything!  Every note ever written is in my possession, along with every Valentine.

...and so I came across these

It started off nice an easy with a Hulkamania "BE MINE!".  Whoa!

Then I saw a sweet little Mario Brothers Valentine.  I began thinking to myself as I quietly read through them all.

"Oh I remember the Mario Brothers.  How cute!  Oh and remember when they made a real TV show with Mario and Luigi where they were real people?  That was scary.  'My Heart Burns for You, Valentine'-so sweet...WAIT, 'not'?  What the heck is this?  Who sent me this?  Jerk."

Then I found this one.  I wasn't impressed at first, just a little dinosaur.

Then I flip over the innocent dinosaur Valentine and find this!

"What is my problem?  What is with you people and your anonymous Valentine's!  Happy Valentine's to you too buddy!"

I then come across the real stunner.  I even remember receiving this one in the 3rd grade because I had my detective friends come over to try and decode this horrendous mystery.  We didn't get too far because ol' Thad here did a pretty good job of covering the evidence.  What I did decode was-

To: Shel (Shelly)

Will you go out with me?  

blah blah blah

-Then a pretty mean scratch out-

To: Jennifer

From: Thad

What?  You people are terrible Valentine's givers.

To you on my favorite holiday!  Not.  

No, really it is.